Ashley's holistic approach to infertility

Ashley Holmes is the CEO & Founder of Holistic Fertility Coach Inc. She supports women struggling with infertility to conceive with ease by creating a fertile foundation within. She is passionate about empowering women to take their health, healing, and happiness into their own hands. No should feel alone on their fertility journey, which is why she is on a mission to shed light and love around this unacknowledged and taboo topic worldwide.

Key Points:
The conversation between Amy and Ashley Holmes revolves around holistic approaches to fertility and infertility, emphasizing the importance of mind, body, and spirit in the journey towards conception.

1. Personal Experience: Ashley shares her personal journey of overcoming fertility struggles and finding holistic methods to conceive, emphasizing the need for support and trust in one's body.

2. Challenges of Fertility Journey: Both Amy and Ashley discuss the unexpected difficulties and emotional toll of the fertility journey, challenging societal expectations and highlighting the need for holistic support.

3. Holistic Approach: Ashley stresses the importance of holistic support, including mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual aspects, in addition to medical interventions like IVF.

4. Healing and Support: Ashley emphasizes the significance of healing past experiences and finding supportive environments, offering personalized coaching and support for individuals and couples.

5. Balancing Western and Complementary Medicine: The conversation explores the synergy between Western medical interventions and complementary holistic approaches, advocating for a balanced approach to fertility.

Transcript
www.bodymindki.com/podcast

LINKS TO OTHER SPEAKER RELATED INFORMATION
https://www.instagram.com/ashley_holmes3202 https://www.facebook.com/ashley.holmes.3979 https://holisticfertilitycoachinc.my.canva.site/
Holistic Fertility Coach Facebook Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/271957647919481/?ref=share_group_link,
Health & Wellness platform ViBLY:
https://vibly.io/expert/ashleyjholmes
Monthly Virtual Yoga Retreats:
https://www.marygooden.com/offers/3byvbVEJ

Author: The Holistic Health Show
Guest Speaker: Ashley Holmes
Category: Health and Wellness
Publish date: 2024-07-09
Duration: [00:19:10]

Transcript

[00:00:14] Amy: Hello and thank you for tuning in to the Holistic Health Show again today. Joining us today is Ashley Holmes, hailing from Canada, and Ashley is a Holistic Fertility Coach. So, she's going to discuss all things fertility and infertility and help us learn how we can holistically support ourselves and each other on this journey.

[00:00:37] Amy: Ashley, thank you so much for joining me today. If you wouldn't mind, could you just jump right in and tell us a little bit about you and why you do what you do?

[00:00:45] Ashley Holmes: would love to, as I know that we Women worldwide are struggling to conceive and that one in six is too high of a number as far as I'm concerned. And I was once one of those women as well. I truly didn't have the support that I was seeking at that time and found a holistic and natural way to conceive that felt better in mind, body, and spirit.

[00:01:07] Ashley Holmes: Spirit versus using a clinic and so truly empowering and helping women to learn and to trust their bodies on a whole different level so that They can feel like themselves during this process because it can be very emotionally draining and depleting and really take a toll on your health and well being.

[00:01:27] Amy: It certainly can, and I [00:01:30] know from experience as well, that you, you make this decision to have a baby and start your beautiful family. And while you don't necessarily think it's going to be easy, you certainly don't expect it to be overwhelmingly stressful and difficult, and you don't necessarily expect to be doing it for years on end in some cases.

[00:01:50] Ashley Holmes: No one, you know, steps into this thinking that this is going to be an issue or that it's going to be, a problem because we've often been conditioned that this is going to happen so quickly. And it's really an unlearning of everything we've sort of been told our whole lives and discovering your own path forward.

[00:02:11] Amy: Absolutely. I mean, as young women especially, we spend so long making sure we don't fall pregnant and taking all the precautions and being fearful of, you know, having sexual relationships because it's kind of drilled into us or it was for me in school in Canada anyway that, you know, you could fall pregnant at the drop of a hat.

[00:02:31] Amy: So you need to be really careful and then you all of a sudden become to the age where you now want to be a mother and. It certainly isn't as easy as thinking about falling pregnant

[00:02:41] Amy: so women who are finding themselves on this journey and who have now stepped into it and it's not as easy as they thought it would be, what would be the next step for them?

[00:02:50] Ashley Holmes: I truly believe that support is so valuable and the right support and nourishing yourself optimally is so [00:03:00] important and to heal your journey so far before you continue proceeding with protocols, even though you may be deemed physically ready. Are you ready? Mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially to further proceed down this road because often we get so far and don't even know how we got to where we're at and don't really trust the path forward because it's not where we envisioned where we would be.

[00:03:29] Ashley Holmes: So 

[00:03:39] Amy: Or finding the right team and, and tailoring that to you.

[00:03:43] Amy: And if you don't have the right doctor, there can be, you know, you can feel shame. I know that some women, the doctors that they have, and this is not speaking for every single one. I'm just talking about the scenarios where women are made to feel. I don't know what the word is I'm looking for here, but made to feel less of a woman because they're not conceiving already or made to feel like, well, this is just not going to happen for you and you have to accept it.

[00:04:11] Amy: That in itself, I mean, that's just going to put a huge strain on your mental and physical and emotional wellbeing. And so it's, it's reevaluation of that team and that support, like you said, and seeking something else.

[00:04:23] Ashley Holmes: Definitely, I think I can attest to the fact that it wasn't. It's the way that I took what [00:04:30] was said and embodied. That really was my lowest point of, you know, this should have worked by now. And me thinking, well, I've done everything down to an art and down to a science. So why isn't it? And really feeling

[00:04:41] Ashley Holmes: so low because thinking, well, what's wrong with me then if this should have worked by now and everything we've tried so far, isn't then what am I doing wrong? Because I felt like I was doing everything right.

[00:04:54] Amy: And it's not tangible, is it? You know, when you see an injury or something that's, , wrong with your body on the outside, a wound or a cut or, or something, you know, an illness that, that you're aware of and you can you can grasp. But when it comes to infertility, you can't see what's happening.

[00:05:13] Amy: You really just don't understand it. You know, it's this deeper, the spiritual part of you, but. You feel really helpless. 

[00:05:21] Ashley Holmes: Absolutely. And I wish. That every woman feels connected during this process and not disconnected because I certainly did the first time around and there was a seeking and a wanting of more and not knowing what that was for me and what would truly help me on my path forward. And I think that it's really important that you feel like you during this process, because when I was taking fertility drugs, I certainly did not, and I didn't like the way that they felt in my mind, body and spirit.

[00:05:52] Ashley Holmes: And even though I did eventually conceive twins, I wasn't going to put myself through that again because of the toll that it took on me mentally and [00:06:00] emotionally because I didn't feel like myself at all. 

[00:06:03] Amy: Yeah, absolutely. It's a, it's a long process and it does take a very huge toll on, on yourself as, a whole. Anyone coming to see you as a holistic fertility coach, what can they expect?

[00:06:17] Ashley Holmes: They can be expected to be met where they are and seen and heard from where they're at and develop a path forward from there. But. First and foremost, it's so important to heal what they've been through and experienced already because for most women, they haven't found me at the beginning of their journey.

[00:06:35] Ashley Holmes: They've been on this journey for a while, and this process has taken a toll on them. So it's important to heal what they've been through and experienced, whether it's miscarriages or failed rounds of IVF or whatever the case may be. They are having an internal Experience that they probably haven't fully processed before moving forward.

[00:06:58] Ashley Holmes: And I think it's so important to take the time and space to heal before proceeding with any type of protocol, because then you are putting your best energetic self forward.

[00:07:08] Amy: And do you do any work with the partners as well? 

[00:07:10] Ashley Holmes: It is available for both, but it is more directed and geared towards the woman. I think it's a great opportunity to connect as a couple in a time that is stressful and have that point of connection to maybe do yoga together or do a meditation together, [00:07:30] or, you know, Find out what their Ayurvedic Dosha is so that you can both live in harmony and ease and peace and balance instead of creating more imbalances in your relationship and also within your own body.

[00:07:43] Ashley Holmes: I think it's really valuing the importance of getting to know yourself and your body at a deep level so that you can Give it what it actually is seeking and desires, which isn't a fad or a trend. You know, if you really want to look after and nurse your health and well being, then it's important to know what it actually is that is best suited for you.

[00:08:04] Ashley Holmes: And it is unique to you and, you know, not what your friend did, not what your colleague did. And understanding of the way all of your systems are functioning on a day in and day out basis and noticing imbalances and being able to course correct them the deeper that you know yourself, it doesn't only help you on your fertility journey, but it's going to help you to live a long and healthy lifestyle that is going Be the best parent that you can be for your children and be around for a long time.

[00:08:35] Ashley Holmes: And these things really matter 

[00:08:36] Amy: We get so overwhelmed by the trying to conceive, but there's a lot more to it, isn't there? I mean, that's obviously the initial, very important first step, but then it's the pregnancy itself, and it's the birth, and it's the postpartum. Do you assist women through that whole journey

[00:08:57] Ashley Holmes: I work with women for [00:09:00] four months at a minimum, and they can renew monthly thereafter, but it's really important to take the concentrated time and energy and effort to focus on your health and wellbeing, because what you do now is affecting your A quality three to four months for now. So. To really prioritize and be mindful of our thoughts, what we're putting in our body, the way we're breathing, the way we're moving, the way we're sleeping.

[00:09:26] Ashley Holmes: I mean, all of these things that we might not deem important, they do really impact us on a day in and day out basis and affect, you know, creating that fertile foundation within you 

[00:09:37] Amy: and I'm curious, for women who perhaps are already on the journey, and who haven't already started with a holistic fertility coach, or perhaps feel like maybe it's too late to start with a holistic fertility coach, what do you say to them?

[00:09:52] Ashley Holmes: I don't think it's ever too late because you will only receive positive benefits, and there's no negative side effects to anything that I offer. So to truly, you know, lean into how you want to feel during this experience. And if there is a misalignment there to find that alignment for yourself, because, you know, feeling aligned and feeling like your best is never going to lead you astray.

[00:10:21] Amy: And someone who is perhaps on an IVF journey, you know, maybe they're doing egg harvesting or they've already got some embryos, whatever [00:10:30] it is that they're currently doing in this moment, would you say to them or should they feel as though they can't begin a more holistic approach alongside? Doing IVF, I've, I've heard in conversations, this is the reason why I'm asking, is I've heard in conversations that some women feel like, well, I'm, I'm taking this really scientific approach and I'm doing the egg harvesting and I'm injecting the hormones and they don't feel like that necessarily aligns 

[00:11:00] Ashley Holmes: I think that whatever we can do alongside of traditional medical intervention is only going to benefit us and I feel like IVF is only. 33 percent effective because it is the scientific physical part of the journey, but you're more than your physical body. So if you can incorporate mind, body, and spirit, how much better are you going to feel and how much more successful are your chances?

[00:11:28] Ashley Holmes: And if you are already going through IVF, then why wouldn't you want to put everything else, all of you behind it? And that's what a Approach really is is that it is mind body and spirit and all of you and you're not leaving any piece of part of you out

[00:11:44] Amy: There really is this misconception, isn't there, that it's one or the other. It's the alternative. , or it's the science. And it's really, and this is what, you know, the, the basis of the show is, you know, it's, we say the Holistic Health Show is committed to bridging the [00:12:00] gap between Western and complementary medicine.

[00:12:02] Amy: And that's it, isn't it? It's, it's finding that balance to support everything that your body needs. 

[00:12:07] Ashley Holmes: Definitely. I'm not one way or the other, but I know that walking away from a fertility clinic with unexplained infertility and no answers from the doctors, I didn't think that I could conceive on my own. And that was my own limiting belief. And that was my own. misconception that I took away from my experience in that process and it simply wasn't the truth.

[00:12:30] Ashley Holmes: So having tools to work with our mindset is so important and knowing the habits, patterns, limiting beliefs that are running day in and day out in the background and becoming conscious and aware of them and rewiring them is so important.

[00:12:47] Amy: It is very important. It's not necessarily an easy thing to do but having someone like yourself supporting you on that journey and guiding you is, , there's something about having someone to lean on and it's particularly someone like yourself who's been there,

[00:13:02] Ashley Holmes: It's so valuable to be accepted exactly where you're at, without shame, without guilt, without judgment. There's no judgment here, but often when we're in this state and place we can't see for ourselves because we're in it. And we can't see, you know, sometimes the most things are said without words, you know, and they can be felt energetically, and it's someone being in tune and noticing, you know, that there's tears in your [00:13:30] eyes, you know, and asking you, you cried five days.

[00:13:34] Ashley Holmes: Or five times today, you know, with someone with you why is it easier to cry alone sometimes, you know, like just asking those deep questions and how can you be further supported because everything I offer is virtual, but how can you be further supported in person with those that are in your world and to have someone hold your hand when you need to physically?

[00:14:00] Amy: yeah, it's our partner That we're solely relying on, it is sometimes an unrealistic expectation for them to be our everything and anything when they're in it with you too.

[00:14:11] Amy: Absolutely. They're having their own feelings and Both feelings are valid. And from the woman's perspective versus the man's perspective, I mean, you're having a very different experience as a woman you're feeling, and I want to say you're feeling quite different to the man, but I don't want to put words in anyone's mouth about how a man should be feeling about the whole scenario as well.

[00:14:33] Amy: But what I mean is you both play a different role. And so the The impact on the both of you is, is traumatic and it is very sad but you can't necessarily understand exactly how the other one is feeling because you play a different part in this whole journey and to have somebody validate your feelings and speaking from the woman's terms now and and have that conversation with someone who understands and [00:15:00] Who isn't going to say, you know, well, you know, better luck next time, or keep trying, it'll happen.

[00:15:06] Amy: And those words are meant to be very encouraging, but I, they don't necessarily feel that way. They, it's like, well, yeah, well, I've tried a lot and I'm tired of trying and it's emotionally kind of destroying me and just all these really heavy, heavy feelings. And words of encouragement aren't necessarily what you need to hear.

[00:15:28] Ashley Holmes: It really is important to have someone to be able to hold space for you and not everybody can do that and people that often Haven't walked in those shoes Don't really Know the words to offer or know how to hold space because it's not their lived experience Whereas someone who's been there and been through that?

[00:15:46] Ashley Holmes: understands and has the compassion and empathy to say It's okay, you know to feel whatever you're feeling .

[00:15:52] Amy: Ashley, before the show, we had a little chat and you mentioned that you have some current offerings on and I'd love to know if you could share what they are and also who could participate. Does it necessarily have to be someone who is an existing client of yours or are these offerings available to anyone who's seeking some extra support or nourishment? 

[00:16:12] Ashley Holmes: have many offerings available because I feel like health and wellness is a goal for all of us, no matter where you are in your journey. So you can find me on the health and wellness platform Vibely, that's V I B L Y. I have [00:16:30] yoga classes, I have meditations, I have Reiki sessions you can book, and I have my one to one coaching if you are interested in trying to receive support while trying to conceive.

[00:16:40] Ashley Holmes: As well as I offer three hour monthly virtual yoga retreats alongside other yogis and it's really just a beautiful blissful experience of face yoga And yin yoga and tai chi and a yoga nidra and sound bath that is really just That self care and self love that we often may not give ourselves and it's just such a beautiful energy to give and also receive from others

[00:17:08] With the monthly retreats, does one have to be on a fertility journey? Cause it sounds just like something that would be lovely to receive and participate in no matter

[00:17:18] Ashley Holmes: No, this is open to anybody and you have access. If you cannot be with us live, you have access to it for 90 days. So you can, it is long, but it doesn't feel long when you're doing it, but you can break it down and just do, you know, an hour of this or an hour Of a specific part of it and have that at your disposal to to come back to and to use because the more we apply these things to ourselves, the more we receive the energetic benefits from them. 

[00:17:45] Amy: That sounds amazing. Ashley, what I'm going to do is I'm going to share links to all of this in the show notes. So anyone and everyone who's listening, definitely go check those out. That monthly retreat sounds delicious to me. 

[00:17:58] Ashley Holmes: Really one of the highlights of my [00:18:00] month that I really look forward to because, you know, I get to participate, but I also get to receive, which is such a blessing as well. And, , the before and after pictures are just. Shocking every time of you know, I think i'm very zen and blissful For the most part on a day to day basis, but to actually like see the glow From head to toe is just like so phenomenal.

[00:18:25] Amy: . Ashley, , I want to thank you for coming on the show today. And again, I want to encourage anyone who's going through this journey of infertility.

[00:18:34] Amy: If you're trying to conceive, no matter where you are on The journey of starting your new family. If you'd like some extra support or a little more information, reach out to Ashley, again, all the links will be shared. Thank you, Ashley.

[00:18:47] Ashley Holmes: Thank you for having me. It's been a pleasure 

[00:18:49]